Licence to Parent

Really...
I have always thought that some people
just should not be ALLOWED to be parents.
After this weekend,
I am a strong believer,
that maybe there should be a

LICENCE TO PARENT.

If you are a spiteful...DENIED.
If you are a selfish...DENIED.
If you....

Let me stop before it gets Recognizably personal.

Who am I to avoid the truth?

This is personal.

Why is it that some people just can not mother?
&&if they can not mother,
WHY are they allowed to have children?

There are so many people,
like myself...
who may never be able to have children..
and then there are "people"
who have children, but dont deserve them...
that neglect them,
they make the children suffer for their
own personal selfish gain.

Yes,
I am speaking of the ex wife.
Yes,
She has once again taken me by suprise,
when it shouldnt have suprised me at all.

So here is the before story:

1. We were contacted asking for help with the kids laundry.
Even though we dont understand why this is ALWAYS a problem,
we agreed to help for the kids sake.
2. We were also informed that the kids school called to inform
their mother that they were attending school looking dirty and unkept.
3. Their mother called me requesting that I brush out and do the youngests hair
because she wouldnt "let" her do it. I agreed, of course.

Story:

Joseph and I went to pick up the girls from their Mothers and take them
with us to a birthday party at my parents house for my little brother.

1. NO clothes were gotten together for us to take and wash.
Their mother had all night, and all that day until around noon
to gather enough clothes for the week for the girls so that WE
could wash them. MEANING: The kids had NO clean clothes, uncluding socks.
2. The youngest was sent with us, without any shoes. LITERALLY. Their mother
informed us that she did not have any.

How do you have children,
but NO clean clothes,
and ABSOLUTELY NO SHOES?

OH,
but it gets worse.

I go to do the youngests hair, and I find HORRIBLE MATTS OF HAIR,
A huge matt of hair, larger than my fist, all the way to her skull.
I was horrified, I showed their father who was also in complete shock.

After phoning their mother,
who went completely defensive and began with the
"I HATE YOUs" && "NAME CALLING",
after simply asked why the youngests hair was the way it was.

*Side Note*
Talking Bad about People.
especially people who help you out,
when they really dont have to.
especially people who have NEVER
disrespected you...no.
Immature and childish.
GROW THE FLUCK UP!
When you have to call someone else
to buy your children
shampoo,
toilet paper,
do their laundry,
socks,
do their hair,
buy shoes,
get them jackets....
&&
THEN YOU HAVE THE NERVE??

let me wait...
there WILL be an "annonymous" letter
at the end this post...
where I will get all that personal stuff out.

It just hurts me to the core,
that people can be so spiteful to people...
and then put the kids in the middle of it.
&&
It hurts even worse that the law does nothing,
that the CPS cases can open and close
as many times as needed and nothing is done,
ONE time, oops, FIX IT.
TWO times, consider it your LAST warning...
THREE or more...UNFIT PARENT, your Finished.

or at least thats how it should be,
thats how it needs to be.

Children should not, not LET you do anything,
YOU are the parent, they do not run YOU,
YOU run them.

Her hair.
Matted like a long haired dog,
you know the matts that you cut out of the dogs hair when
it hasnt been brushed for who knows how long??
THAT was her hair.
Almost half a bottle of oil,
a bottle and a half of detangler,
and half a bottle of leave in conditioner,
and we STILL had to cut A LOT of her hair.
THAT, my child.
IS NEGLECT.

LETTER TIME:

DEAR EX WIFE:

I understand that you hate me, but there are things that need to be said. Whether it is my place to say them or not, I no longer care. I have done my part since I got with the kids' father to take care of them and help him better himself. YOU have told me yourself that you see a difference with him. I am sorry that he couldnt make those changes sooner, but sometimes relationships run their course, and whether you want to like it or not, yours did and it is not the kids fault. YES, he has messed up IN THE PAST. Yes, he WENT to jails and prisons, and you WERE there through it. Yes, he probably put you through some serious hell, but are you seriously going to stand there and tell me that you NEVER did anything to him? That you were always the perfect wife and mother? Because I am here to tell you that honestly, that is wrong. Nobody is perfect. Joseph is not perfect, he never has been and never will be, but neither am I, and neither are you. He has a rocky past, the two of you have a rocky past. But in the end you got three beautiful children out of it, so yes you hate him all you want but he is in your life forever. You can hate me all you want but I am going to be by his side forever. We know that Joseph has had a rocky past, he hasnt always been there for the kids, and truth of the matter is, you divorced him. He doesnt have to be there for you. His only concern is with his kids. The fact of the matter is that he is bettering himself, and rather than blaming him for the past, accept the present and be happy that your childrens father adores them, loves them, and wants to be a part of their lives. Including YOUR child, which HE has taken in since she was barely walking. As far as he can see it, that IS his child, and he doesnt have to say that, but he loves her. It could be worse. He could not be around at all, but he is. Sure he was in and out of their lives for a while, but the key word is WAS. Why punish the kids and not let them see their father or have a relationship with their father, because you dont approve of his actions...
what actions does he do that you dont approve of?
Keeping a steady job and going to work daily?
Or having a steady relationship with a successful woman?
Or keeping in touch with his mother whom you would rather "tattle tale" on him with?
Wanting to take care of his kids and spend time with them?
Sure you have been a single mother and done a lot on your own, for that simple act I applaud you. I will not however applaud you anymore. If you needed help keeping the girls clean or doing hair, we have been but a call away. When we did recieve that call it was too much of hassle for you to come through with your end of the bargain.
In last year or so that I have grown closer to Joseph, I have never seen you be the "perfect [ex]wife or mother". I have seen NUMEROUS times, you put yourself before the kids. Do you realize that when you threaten their relationship with their father that you blame it on everyone but yourself? When your the one who made the threats? You have no right to keep him from the kids or threaten him about losing the kids forever just because he is with me. How many people have you been with? Did they have jobs? College? vehicles? Just wondering. I have done nothing but respect you and help you with your kids, and what do I get in return? Vulger name calling? Threats? Who has picked you and the kids up when it was raining and Joseph was at work? Who has rescued you from being stuck out of town when joey couldnt do it? Who has done your kids laundry? who has bent over backwards to help YOU out...I was never here to talk shit about you or put you down. BUT..I PROMISE...If I EVER see her hair matted up even half the way it was when you sent her to me, I PROMISE, you will lose her. I PROMISE I will call CPS MYSELF. I PROMISE, if the girls are not clean, CPS will be called. YOU do NOT run shit when you can not even keep their laundry clean and hair brushed. YOU have NO right to talk shit when we return the girls in ten times better condition than they are handed to us. They are given to us half clothed, we put shoes on their feet and clean clothes on their backs. They are given to us dirty, we start the shower and wash their hair. They are given to us with matted hair, and we sit there for hours combing and brushing until its better. You mess it up, and here we are to pick up the pieces, but the love that we have for the kids goes too far to make excuses for your parenting skills. It is time that something is finally done about it, and something will be done. I PROMISE.

Sincerely,

His New Wife to Be.